Marriages in Nigeria
are faced with lots of challenges because many go into the institution of
marriage without proper counseling or an understanding of what they are getting
committed to. Many go into marriages with lots of expectations and when those
expectations are not met or achieved it causes problems in the marriage which
in most homes can lead to separation (divorce). However, irrespective of
whatever challenge one may face in marriage, if communication doesn’t solve it
then counseling should be a given a chance. Meeting a counselor for marital
issues especially ones that dialogue can’t solve is highly recommended and
advisable.
Some
Nigerian couples do not see the need to meet a counselor; some see it as
inviting a third party to their marriage and because of this mentality they
keep having unresolved issues in their marriage which could affect them
physically, psychological and even emotionally. Nevertheless, Marriage as a
physical as well as a moral union is recognized by society as the basis of a
family. It may be a sacrament and in that way an indissoluble union for this
life. The roles of husbands and wives must be defined in terms of the essential
rights and obligations and the behavioral attributes entailed in them in any
particular society.
Marriage
Marriage, also called matrimony or
wedlock, is a culturally recognized union between people, called spouses that
established rights and obligations between them, as well as between them and
their children, and between them and their in-laws.
Marriage
is also a personal association between a man and a woman and a biological
relationship for mating and reproduction. When two adults decide to come
together as man and wife, it means that they have decided to give up their
personal rights to grow as one and as a family. They must however understand
that no one is perfect and try to be more tolerable with one another.
The
Success And Failures In Marriage
The success and
failures of marriage is dependent on both couple. No marriage is without it
troubles but the way and how it’s been handled is what makes a successful
marriage and a bed of roses as seen by all. Some people think of “failure” in marriage means
divorce but for others that is not so. There are many people who stay in
marriages for decades, living unhappy lives and being miserable in their
relationships. I wouldn’t think of this as a “successful” marriage. We might
call it a marriage of convenience, a union born of and sustained in fear of
living separate and independent lives, or an alliance rooted in and perpetuated
by certain patterns of being and relating that are deeply ingrained and that
the participants are afraid to challenge much less break. There are lots of
issues that constitute a failed marriage aside the popular result of divorce.
A successful marriage is one
devoid of fear, inconveniences even though these things cannot be totally
absent in marriage. That is why it is advisable to marry someone whom you are
compatible with most importantly your friend it will make it easy to deal with
issues that may pop up in marriage.
The
Need For Counselling
Couples
often realize immediately before, during and after the wedding ceremony that
marriage isn’t as easy as they thought or characters that they never knew
existed or showed while courting. In order to overcome these challenges it
requires hard work and commitment of both couple. Many at times after a blissful
honeymoon-period, couples often realize that they are not as compatible as they
previously thought. Or they encounter problems which they never thought would
be an issue. Or the couple is unable to nurture their relationship due to
things such as jobs and children consuming all their time. These difficulties
are certainly not unusual and seeking the advice of a marriage counselor may go
a long way towards strengthening and even saving the marital
relationship.
See related undergraduate
research articles on counseling
Counseling is needed in marriage because it will help the
couples make out time for each other out of their busy schedule. It
also helps as the counselor acts as a sort of mediator between the spouses and
facilitates healthy and effective communication. It is particularly helpful
where couples are set on improving.
Counseling
can give the couple tools to start improving their communication, for example
by eliminating bad habits such as constantly interrupting the other partner or
speaking too much and not giving the other partner a chance to respond and in
some cases not talking about issues and allowing it escalate to bigger issues.
In addition, where the couple has been reluctant or too busy to face the
underlying issues that are causing problems in their marriage, counseling can
serve as a platform where these issues can finally be confronted.
Evaluation
Of Counselling
Counseling has over
time help repair marriages and strengthened the bond between couples. Many
failed marriages have become successful by singular act of counseling. It’s an
established fact that counseling has helped revived marriages from collapsing.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
couples should not neglect the impact of meting marriage counselors for their
marital issues and debunk the idea of seeing a counselor as involving a third
party who will only escalate issues. Talk to a counselor today and save your
marriage.
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